Just need to let out some steam

Know how sometimes you just want to eat the cake and have it too?
Well, I guess that's how I feel at the moment. Since I'm at the municipalities beg and call and have my "natural" limits due to the AMC I'm more or less trapped at home - and I hate it. At the moment I feel a need to go experience thing, I need some changes I guess, and I can't do much myself to get those changes.
At the moment I'm stuck in a fairly boring rutine and I have no idea how to get out of it. All the stuff I would have done before isn't possible any more. So I tend to look back a lot, which isn't all that smart since it traps me in a melancholiac state on memory lane.
I feel that everyone around me is living the life they want and I'm stuck at the sideline looking at life running by with the speed of lightning - not the greatest feel.
I know that I'll find my positive self at some point but I hate these down-periods that sometimes sorround me.
The worse part is that is seems people don't comprehend that I'm just not always that bundle of smiles and quick remarks - I can't always be the initiator nor the outgoing one.
Sometimes you just need someone else to be the one to take initative and the ones closest to me apparently aren't - for various reasons.
So what's one to do. I guess nothing, since I don't want to be the depressive, demanding girl. I feel that there's enought I can not do so I shouldn't be bothering people with even more stuff.

Just needed to get it off my chest - keeping it inside just makes me even more "urmf" and annoyed about the things that aren't going as I'd like them to.

On the bright side I just got an order to make a wedding cake, so someone must trust my abilities for which I'm gratefull.

Anyways off for now - I'll try to update this more often - if I remember and pull myself together...